


certified prodigy

by mimizans



Category: Glee
Genre: Ficlet, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-14
Updated: 2012-09-14
Packaged: 2017-11-14 05:29:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/511824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mimizans/pseuds/mimizans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>based on the prompt: "santana pulls a ken jennings on jeopardy"</p>
            </blockquote>





	certified prodigy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [msmoocow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/msmoocow/gifts).



Santana had gotten into trivia when she was eight and needed new ways to tell people they were ugly. The fact that no one understood the reference when she announced to them that they were probably better looking than Joseph Merrick, but only by a little, was just the icing on the cake.

Santana didn’t hold the TriviaTime record at her local Buffalo Wild Wings because she loved facts or learning or something stupid and mondo-depressing like that. She held the record because a strong command of general and specialized knowledge was essential when it came to insulting lesser humans.

And now, that knowledge had landed her on Jeopardy, working on her 77th straight victory.

Alex Trebek cleared his throat. “Tonight’s Final Jeopardy category is ‘Science.’ Here’s the answer: ‘This tortoise, a pet presented to the Tongan Royal family in 1777, lived to be 188 years old.’ You have 30 seconds. Good luck.”

Santana sighed and wrote down her answer, betting her entire haul of 35,000. Tortoises were wrinkly, ugly, lived way too long, and looked weird when they ate lettuce, which meant that Santana had, of course, compared people to the famous Tongan tortoise, Tu’i Malila, many times. 

Honestly, Santana thought as Trebek read off her answer, to the oohs and ahhs of the crowd, this whole show was kind of a joke. If she was a nice person, she would have felt bad for them, having to dish out all this money to her. But she wasn’t, and she didn’t intend to stop running the game until she hit a cool 6 mil. Hey, a girl’s gotta put herself in Prada, and if she can do it on the strength of her encyclopaedic knowledge of possible insults, well. Knowledge is power.


End file.
